It was a dark, rainy and cold day. The street lights shone brightly on the street. The International Boarding School UK stood as still as a statue. The children were fast as sleep, until the sound of ”Clash Bang Boom “ broke out. All the children quickly hid under the blanket. One pupil called Kristina .K. Adore for short it’s KK, looked down at the damp watery street. Then she thought maybe she should ask the teacher, Miss Kristy, to help her get back to sleep. Suddenly she spotted a black figure at corner of her eye. She cautiously went on to check for thieves, to her surprise it was…..
GJ Writing Practices 
Hi Janice
I like your opening line. You might want to continue with the gloomy mood of your opening line and say ‘the street lamps cast an errie orange glow on the wet ground.’ Try to avoid using the same words again, especially in the same sentence unless you are trying to make an impact. Eg ‘street lamps shone on the street’ – repeating street doesn’t do anything. Eg We won! We won the competition! – saying won twice emphasises the victorious moment. The phrase ‘Stood as still as a statue’ suggests that there was some sort of life, movement before. It is usually used on a living being eg person, animal. I wouldn’t use it on a building as it is already still. Check your work. Read through if it makes sense. ‘Children were fast asleep.’ Also ‘she spotted a figure at the corner of her eye’ would mean there is literally someone being at the corner of her eye, which isn’t possible. 8) What you probably meant to write was ‘from the corner of her eye’. I like the suspense at the end of your story. Nice cliffhanger!
Dear Janice, I really like the way in which you have tried to create a feeling of nervousness and suspense in your 100 words; the cliffhanger makes me want to read more so that I can find out what really was in the corner of KK’s eye. Was it real or was it imagined … ?! Was it good or was it bad … ?! My mind is racing at the possibilities! I agree with all of the previous comments and think that carefully rereading and editing your work before you post it is one of the best things you can do to improve the quality of your writing. It is a challenging process, but one that will ultimately help you to make the most out of your imagination and wide-ranging vocabulary. Well done. 🙂