One fine morning, Tizzy and I arrived at our new school. While we were exploring around the school, a boy named Lacks came and told us, “There’s a two-headed monster hiding in the cupboard” he pointed to a spooky room just beside our classroom, he chuckled and laughed jubilantly. We didn’t find that funny so we kicked Lacks and Lacks ‘shrieked’ at us. However, on the other hand, we were also quite curious so we went to that room and when I opened the cupboard door, there was nothing inside. We were extremely happy, “Huray!! there is no monster!” we shouted with joy. As we slowly walked away we heard a very loud roar like a lion at the back of us and the room was vibrating violently…
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GJ Writing Practices 
This is a very polished piece of writing, Janice and I enjoyed reading it. You have good skills as a storyteller which are evident in your varied sentence structure, your interesting vocabulary and your ability to build and complete your story effectively in just 100 words. Congratulations! Mr Mullard Team WC
Dear Janice, I like the way that you are using books that you have read to aid your writing. The more you read, the better your writing will get. You are also putting a lot of effort into thinking carefully about the way in which you describe scenes and events, which makes your writing much more engaging. Well done. 🙂
Hi Janice… wow this Lacks is such a big bully. Good that he was kicked! I thought it was funny that you described him shrieking! Seems kind of girly girl to shriek isn’t it? 8P Just be conscious of your connectors. Perhaps you have too many connectors in one sentence? This is a good story Janice. I enjoyed reading it. Thumbs up!