After a long drive, I have finally arrived at Nicoco Chicken Farm for an Easter Egg Hunt, my best friend, Lipton won the previous Hunt. The picky Farmer announced, “No stealing, no cheating and if you find the special egg with purple, blue and white on it, you win the Easter Egg Hunt. Now stand behind the rainbow loom chain and I will unclip the chain then say go.” “Ready…get..set…GO!!” exclaimed the Farmer. I found 90 glimmering pink eggs but I couldn’t find the egg. Without me knowing, Lipton had quietly put the special egg into my basket. “Times up..” the Farmer shouted. All the children from far and near ran to the Farmer. Finally he declared, “Janice won!!”
4 thoughts on “Janice Lee Y2 BPS :……but I couldn’t find the egg…”
Dear Janice, I like the theme you have chosen for your 100 word story, very topical! I think that the way you are trying to use different aspects of your writing is good … plenty of adjectives, different punctuation as well as speech are used to get both information and atmosphere across to the reader. Continue to try and reread what you have written so you do not miss words out … but I couldn’t the egg, should have perhaps read … but I couldn’t find the egg. Well done and keep on writing! 🙂
Hello Janice… I enjoyed reading your cute story about Lipton and you. You must be besties seeing how Lipton slipped the winning egg into your basket. What a windfall for you to have 90 eggs and the special egg. That is what best friends are for! Check out this word besties. Is there such a word? I am also wondering if it should be ‘Without my knowing… ‘ or ‘Without me knowing… ‘. Maybe you can tell me. You might want to rework your first sentence as it does come across as a little awkward and not very clear. Be mindful of how your sentences read when someone else reads it. Would they understand what you are trying to say? I am sure Lipton your friend would get this line as a running joke : Lipton would you like to have some tea? Ha! Ha! Corny I know! Good that you are writing again!
Love Aunty Gayle
GJ Writing Practices 
Dear Janice, I like the theme you have chosen for your 100 word story, very topical! I think that the way you are trying to use different aspects of your writing is good … plenty of adjectives, different punctuation as well as speech are used to get both information and atmosphere across to the reader. Continue to try and reread what you have written so you do not miss words out … but I couldn’t the egg, should have perhaps read … but I couldn’t find the egg. Well done and keep on writing! 🙂
Thanks for your comments Mr. M
Hello Janice… I enjoyed reading your cute story about Lipton and you. You must be besties seeing how Lipton slipped the winning egg into your basket. What a windfall for you to have 90 eggs and the special egg. That is what best friends are for! Check out this word besties. Is there such a word? I am also wondering if it should be ‘Without my knowing… ‘ or ‘Without me knowing… ‘. Maybe you can tell me. You might want to rework your first sentence as it does come across as a little awkward and not very clear. Be mindful of how your sentences read when someone else reads it. Would they understand what you are trying to say? I am sure Lipton your friend would get this line as a running joke : Lipton would you like to have some tea? Ha! Ha! Corny I know! Good that you are writing again!
Love Aunty Gayle
Thanks for your comments Aunty Gayle.